im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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