I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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