so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
