I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
