I need help removing her.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
