i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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