Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
