Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
