would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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