Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
