Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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