bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
