I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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