Tell her she can't have a vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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