I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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