I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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