nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
