I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize