hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize