I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
