here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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