tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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