I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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