saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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