i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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