the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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