Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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