I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
