You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
