im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
