It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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