Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
