Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
