Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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