Yo dont text me then not text me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
