Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize