I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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