sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
