im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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