i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
