you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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