It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
