please come you make the beer taste better
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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