She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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