If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
