Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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