He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
