Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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