Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
