Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
