Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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