OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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