My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
