sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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