the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
