i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think your dad took our porno
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
