Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
