dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
