no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize