No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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