You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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