I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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