Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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